Attraction Information

7 Tips to Make a Fantastic Impression on People Who Count


Making a fabulous impression on people opens doors for your business, personal, and career endeavors. People like charming people who make them feel comfortable. So, making a fantastic impression helps you get where you want to go.

The basic rule to make a great impression is this: Humans crave to be around people who seem similar to themselves. The key word is seems. Everyone differs from other people in hundreds of ways. However, you get along with people you seem similar to you in interests, feelings, experiences, or goals. You can put these techniques into action to help people feel you seem similar to them and, as a result, make a wonderful impression.

1st Technique: Forget the "Golden Rule"

Since people crave to be around people who seem similar to themselves, avoid wasting time on the "Golden Rule" fantasy suggesting, "Treat people as you want to be treated." People do not want to be treated the way you want to be treated!

Instead, treat other people the way they like being treated. You make a stellar impression by focusing on their likes, not yours.

2nd Technique: Use the Other Person's Interpersonal Style

People interact using four interpersonal styles, as follows:

1. Results-Focused: "Quickly tell me the time, not how to build a clock!!"

2. Detail-Focused: "Slowly tell me how to build a clock, slowly leading up to what time it is."

3. Friendly-Focused: "First, I'll tell you about my family and weekend. Then, let's discuss yours. Then, let's gossip. Then, let's discuss work."

4. Partying-Focused: "Wanna hear another joke? Let's PARTY!!"

Remember: Humans crave to be around people who seem similar to themselves. So, with a results-focused person, act fast-paced and results-focused. To impress a detail-focused person, tell "how to build the clock," not what time it is.

3rd Technique: Mirror

Mirroring proves incredibly subtle, powerful, and physical. It helps the person instinctively feel comfortable with you. How? You mirror - make yourself seem similar to - the person's

1. Body language
2. Vocal style
3. Attire

To impress someone who sits straight, you sit straight with that person. If the person speaks slowly, then you do likewise. And dress as formally or informally as the person you want to impress.

4th Technique: Listen Attentively

This tale illustrates the importance of listening well.

A man decided to divorce his wife. His lawyer asked, "Did you love your wife?" The man replied, "I would have left her, but I was hesitant before."

Then, the lawyer asked, "Why do you want to leave her?" The man said, "We have lots of trees around our house, but I rake up the leaves myself."

The lawyer asked, "Is she mean?" The man answered, " I stopped eating red meat." Then, the lawyer inquired, "Does she do housework? Does she take out garbage?" The man responded, "We have a two-car garage."

Finally, the man felt frustrated, because he failed to understand the point of the lawyer's questions, so he blurted, "You're a lawyer. Ask me useful questions about my lousy marriage?"

So, the lawyer asked, "Why do you want to divorce?" The man replied, "Because we can't communicate!"

This story shows, in extreme fashion, that many conversations actually are two simultaneous monologues. To make a great impression, listen well using these tactics: 1. Paraphrase or repeat ideas the person said Ask questions Take notes

5th Technique: Artful Vagueness

Prospective clients, who wanted to use my consulting, told me their business problems. Using my expertise with similar problems, I gave my recommendation. They kept telling me they did not like my recommendation. But I knew my recommendation would solve their business problems. The more I said I was right and they were wrong, the more they defended their viewpoint. Suddenly, I realized I did not make them feel comfortable enough. But, I could not agree with them, since they were wrong. So, I listened again to their ideas. Then I said, "I've listened carefully to how you want to do this project. That's an idea."

At the same time, I thought to myself - but did not say it - "That's a stupid idea."

What did they think? They apparently interpreted "That's an idea" as me agreeing with them, although I had not. Actually, anything anyone says is "an idea."

This technique is called artful vagueness. You can get out of uncomfortable jams using these artfully vague phrases: "That's an idea." "You've got a point." "You may be right."

6th Technique: Use Everyone's Favorite Word

Imagine a time you heard someone shout your name. I bet you spun around to see who called your name. We are drawn to people who say our names. My research comparing high-achievers and underachievers revealed high-achievers used the name of the person they spoke to one or more time in each conversation. In contrast, underachievers used the name of the person they encountered less than half the time. This means high-achievers use the name of people they talk with much more than underachievers. You can do what high-achievers do.

7th Technique: Compliments

While studying high-achievers and underachievers, I discovered an amazing difference. High-achievers gave an average of three compliments per day. However, underachievers seldom gave compliments. What an intriguing difference you can use to your advantage!

Some people say these seven charm school techniques are "selling out." But, a French saying puts it in perspective: "A car can go as far on square wheels as it can go on round wheels. The difference is that on round wheels the ride is much smoother." Go through your life on round wheels!

© Copyright 2005 Michael Mercer, Ph.D.

Michael Mercer, Ph.D., is a conference speaker and consultant with The Mercer Group, Inc. in Barrington, Illinois. Dr. Mercer created the widely used "Abilities & Behavior Forecaster?" pre-employment tests, you can view at http://www.MercerSystems.com. He authored 5 books, including "How Winners Do It: High Impact People Skills for Your Success" and also "Hire the Best -- & Avoid the Rest?". You can subscribe to Dr. Mercer's free e-Newsletter at http://www.DrMercer.com. You can call him at (847) 382-0690.


MORE RESOURCES:

Hormones: Learning the rules of attraction
Independent, UK - 12 hours ago
What really draws couples together? The mysteries of hormones are only now being unravelled – and giving us fascinating new insights into why we behave the ...


PIRATE: A magnetic attraction to North Carolina's beaches?
StarNewsOnline.com, NC - 2 hours ago
Researchers at the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill believe sea turtles use the Earth's magnetic field to find their way back to their birthplace to ...


MTV.com

'Twilight' stokes our immortal attraction to the vampire
New York Daily News, NY - Nov 30, 2008
In this image released by Summit Entertainment, Kristen Stewart, left, and Robert Pattinson are shown in a scene from, "Twilight." 'Mad, bad, and dangerous ...
Life and love eternal Philippine Star
E-mail this page Northern News Services (subscription)
Movie Review - "Twilight" sizzles but squanders dark romance University News (subscription)
Longview Daily News - Times-Standard
all 288 news articles


Sunoco becomes local attraction with sign, car
North Fort Myers Neighbor, FL - 4 hours ago
By ANDREA GALABINSKI, nfmneighbor@breezenewspapers.com The Sunoco Gas Station at 14531 N. Cleveland Avenue has become a local attraction of sorts. ...


The rules of attraction
Independent Online, South Africa - 20 minutes ago
By Roger Dobson A woman's smile may not be all it seems. When her zygomaticus major cheek muscle moves the upper lip upward and outward to produce that warm ...


CBBC Newsround

New Forest Lapland attraction a dismal failure
UK Parents Lounge, UK - 11 hours ago
Instead of paying high-cost flights to the real Lapland, families could travel to the New Forest to see a similar attraction. With tickets costing ÂŁ25, ...
Santa punched and elves under fire at Lapland attraction Dumfries and Galloway Standard
Picture diary by mum at Lapland row attraction Southern Daily Echo
Theme park branded 'winter blunderland' Oxford Mail
Southern Daily Echo - Southern Daily Echo
all 37 news articles


Craigie’s now a Main attraction: Harvard Square restaurant moves ...
Cambridge Chronicle, MA - 6 hours ago
By Travis Andersen/Correspondent As word spread that the restaurant offered some of the best French cuisine and ambiance in Cambridge, owner and proprietor ...


A cosmopolitan attraction
Culpeper Star Exponent, VA - Nov 30, 2008
Have you seen the new movie now playing in theaters starring Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman, called “Australia”? The movie is receiving great reviews and ...
Crikey! 'Australia' Hits the Big Screen NBC Philadelphia
VIDEO: “Australia” Review NBC13.com
'Australia' -- a review Westborough News
Cincinnati CityBeat - Philadelphia Daily News
all 1,004 news articles


My fear and fragility: history of gay attraction
AfterEllen.com - 21 hours ago
I'm not sure who I should address this to, or even how to write this. I know that you don't know me, and you've got no reason to give up your time to read ...


Attraction hit by lack of visitors
Fleetwood Today, UK - 10 hours ago
One of Kendal's major attractions, the Quaker Tapestry, says it is struggling due to falling visitor numbers. The board of trustees said it is debating ...
Kendal tourism action plan revealed Westmorland Gazette
Uncertain future for Quaker Tapestry Westmorland Gazette
all 3 news articles

Attraction - Google News

home | site map
© 2006