| |
| |
|
Coaching Information |
|
|
|
Help! I Need to Make a Decision!
Many people who come to my office say they have a difficult time making decisions. I have developed a process to help my clients master this skill. I recommend that people follow these four steps: 1. Identify the real issue. For example, you are trying to decide which movie to see, but you are having a hard time agreeing. As you talk about it, you realize that the real issue is that you simply want some time to be together in a quiet place where you can talk. Going to a movie does not address this issue. 2. Identify the available options. In the above example, the options might include going to a quiet restaurant, taking a drive, or walking on the beach. 3. Evaluate the available options. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each. Evaluate how well each option addresses the real issue. 4. Implement the decision. Make a choice and carry it out. Even though most people make dozens of important and complex judgments every day, few of us have actually been trained to make good decisions. We started making basic decisions when we were young children, and we continue to follow the same simple process as we get older, even though the issues have become much more complicated. We learned to make decisions by watching our parents and learning in school. Mostly we learned by trial and error. Our first decisions were pretty simple-to choose pizza or hamburgers, to play softball or soccer, to wear the pink headband or the blue one. These decisions pretty much boiled down to choosing between X and Y. According to the authors of Smart Choices: A Practical Guide to Making Better Decisions (see Reading List), most of us continue to choose between X and Y without making certain that we are addressing the real problem in the first place. A second common mistake is rushing into a decision, hurrying to get it over with. We rarely step back from the decision and view it in a broader context. While it is more difficult and time-consuming, it is better to take your time and be sure you are seeing the big picture and the key issues. Strategies for Making Better Decisions Here are some decision-making tips: 1. Take your time making important decisions. Some situations require a deliberate and careful decision-making process. 2. Once the decision has been made, carry it out without hesitation. 3. If you can, delegate decisions to those who will carry them out. Authors Heller and Hindle (Essential Manager's Man-ual) advise managers always to be on the lookout for ways to push the decision-making process down a level. If you are making decisions for your family, consider how you can involve your kids in the process. 4. Making decisions requires both intuition and logic. It's important to trust your gut, but be sure you are thinking logically. 5. Unless the situation is pretty straightforward, it is a good idea to generate as many ideas as you can. Learn the principles of brainstorming (see box) and throw lots of options into the hopper. 6. Look at the issues from different points of view. How do they look to the different groups they might affect? For example, if a teacher asks his students to wear Native American clothing tomorrow, will the kids' parents have the time to help them prepare on such short notice? 7. Consider the immediate and long-term implications of each solution, including its impact on other people. 8. Consider the worst- and best-case scenarios, as well as the possibilities in between. Deciding Yourself versus Involving Others Involving others in your decision-making process helps you avoid the tendency to rush into a decision, hurrying to get it over with. When you take the time to consult others, you force yourself to step back from the situation and see it in a broader context. While it is more difficult and time-consuming, getting the advice and support of others can help you produce better decisions. Consider these points when seeking advice: 1. Determine whom to involve in the process. If it's a simple, low-risk decision, you may not need to involve any one else. 2. If you do ask others for advice and suggestions, be prepared to respond to their input. 3. Determine who will need to approve your decision, and get that approval. Consider these points when seeking support: 1. Think about who might resist your decision, and have a plan to manage that resistance. For example, you want to allow your daughter to have her friends sleep over on a weeknight during the summer, but you expect your husband will object because he has to get up for work the next day and doesn't want his sleep disturbed. Think about how you could plan the evening in a way to avoid disturbing your husband. 2. Identify ways to increase the chances that your decision will be supported. In the sleepover example, you could ask the girls' friends to bring sleeping bags, and set up the basement for them to sleep in. 3. If your decision presents any risks, look for ways to minimize them. Make This Work for You Rules of Brainstorming 1. Write down the question you are addressing. For example, "Where shall we go on vacation?" 2. Think of as many ideas as you can. 3. Write down every idea, no matter how wild it seems. 4. No one is allowed to judge or evaluate any of the ideas in any way. This includes making faces, rolling eyes, and sighing. 5. The goal is to think of as many ideas as you can. Quantity is more important than quality. 6. After everyone is finished suggesting ideas, take a break. 7. After the break, discuss the ideas and edit the list. A solution will emerge. Identify a situation in your life right now. Be sure to choose something important and challenging. Apply the steps we have been exploring to this situation. 1. Describe the situation. 2. What is the real issue here? 3. List the pros and cons of each option. 4. What do you need to consider when seeking advice? 5. What do you need to consider when seeking support? 6. What are the best options? 7. Who needs to be involved? 8. What should be delegated? To whom? 9. What resources would need to be secured? 10. What steps need to be planned, and what is their timing? Garrett Coan is a professional coach and therapist in Tenafly, New Jersey. He can be accessed through http://www.creativecounselors.com or 201-303-4303.
MORE RESOURCES:
Coaching - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Personal Power All of us would love to have personal power - the power to manifest our dreams, the power to remain calm and loving in the face of fear, the power to stay centered in ourselves in the face of attack.Our society often confuses personal power - "power within" - with "power over," which is about controlling others. How Can Sceptics Get the Proof They Need Are you one of those folks that needs to figure-it-out all the time? Are you one of those Law of Attraction students who catches yourself saying things like, "I wonder how this is going to come to me?" or, "What do I need to figure out so I know what to do next (to manifest what I desire)?" Attention Law of Attraction Students!Stop trying to figure out where/how/when your manifestation is going to come! It's not your job!Here's a great tool that will help all of you 'figure-it-outers' reduce your need to figure it out. Those of you who are thinkers need to see it or know it before you can fully accept that The Law of Attraction exists and is working in your life. The Story "From the Chicken Coop"? Many years ago my grandfather, had a small farm and chickens. One morning he sent me out to the chicken coop to collect fresh eggs. Grow Through It It's past bedtime for most working men. It's not unbearably late and I have no appointments tomorrow morning so I sit here and contemplate. Can I Be My Own ADD Coach? Quite often I am in contact with people who discuss acting as an ADD Coach for their child or spouse. While supporting and helping loved ones with ADD is a great idea, acting as an ADD Coach really isn't a great idea. What Rules! There are things that we do automatically internally that we don't even realize are the things that make us who we are. Our own rules for living that we hardly ever question, and even less frequently examine. Curse of Competence: How Being Good gets in the way of Becoming Great Just before the storms hit last winter, my father-in-law and I replaced 26 feet of fence on my property. I must say, for a couple of non-handyman-sorts like the two of us, it is a very well done fence. Choosing The Right Coach Coaching has become a very popular way for people to get the ongoing support they need to accomplish their goals. However, choosing a coach can be tricky. The Rewards and Risks Of Personal Freedom We all need to decide whether to "play it safe" in life and worry about the downside, or instead take a chance, by being who we really are and living the life our heart desires. Which choice are you making?One of the first things I noticed about my newly purchased parrot, was that he couldn't fly. Communicating with Case Studies Not long ago, I made a partnership pitch, on behalf of an organization I represent, to another organization with similar interests. If the idea had come to fruition, it would have radically changed our organization. What in the World is Life Coaching? In my speaking engagements I have often compared coaching today to psychotherapy in the 1920s. The level of public understanding of coaching, outside of people in a certain socio-demographic category, is still in its infancy. How to Deal Effectively with Anxiety Every human feels anxiety on occasion; it is a part of life. All of us know what it is like to feel worry, nervousness, fear, and concern. Think Twice Before Youre Nice A few months back I had a disturbing dream. In my dream a woman with stringy blonde hair rang my bell. Top 10 Ways to Coach Yourself to Total Success! Coaching is about being your best. It's about performance, about "staying the course" and, in the end, about creating and living the life you really want. Dare To Be Inconsistent, Lopsided, And Totally Courageous I was talking to one of my coaching clients and she was talking about not being able to stay with a meditation practice, so she gave up meditating altogether. "I'm either gung ho all the way or I don't show up at all," she said in disgust. Truth About Life Coaching School Accreditation With life coaching becoming "the" career choice in this millennium, many of you are seeking the right choice for training and certification. Hopefully this article will answer some of your questions. Learn to Say No! How many times have you agreed to do something that you actually didn't want to do? For someone at work? Your friends? Even your spouse? All you had to do was say no, but the word didn't come out. So you end up doing it?and later resent it. Top Ten Reasons to Hire a Personal Coach Have you considered hiring a personal coach? Jack Canfield, in The Success Principles says hiring a "personal coach is one of the best-kept secrets of the successful."1. How To Increase Your Coaching Record By At Least 25% "How can I become a better and more effective coach?" We hear this question frequently and there's obviously more than one answer. Today, let's explore one aspect of better coaching. Coaching Skills for Peers: Extending Influence Many people think of coaching solely as a management technique. Although coaching skills provide managers with the means to get business results while creating solid relationships, the value of coaching in other arenas is often overlooked.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
