| |
| |
|
Coaching Information |
|
|
|
Boost Your Self-Esteem
What Is Self-Esteem? Self-esteem literally means to esteem, or respect, yourself. Having high self-esteem means that you have a positive image of yourself. Let's look at where such a positive self-image comes from. In her classic book Celebrate Yourself, Dorothy Corkville Briggs makes a distinction between the real you and your self-image. She says that the real you is unique and unchanging. Most of your self-image-what you think is true about yourself-is learned. It is not necessarily accurate at all! Where are your beliefs about yourself drawn from? Where did you learn them? If you think about it, you'll see that they came from: ? What others said about you Your self-image is the result of all the messages you heard about yourself as a child. These messages added up to a set of beliefs about who you are. It may have nothing to do with who you really are. For example, you may believe things like: ? I'm not very smart. In addition to learning to believe certain things during our early years, there are certain situations that make most people feel inferior or lacking in self-esteem. Some examples are: ? Being criticized What Low Self-Esteem Feels Like In situations like these above, it is not uncommon to feel emotions such as: ? Sadness Cognitive Therapy Cognitive therapy is one of the most successful methods for helping people feel better about themselves. Cognitive therapists help depressed and anxious people feel better by identifying how faulty ways of thinking are making them feel bad. They believe that faulty thoughts cause us to feel bad, which makes us feel bad about ourselves. Cognitive therapists call these faulty ways of thinking "twisted thinking." Cognitive therapy is a process where the client analyzes his or her thoughts and beliefs, and learns to substitute more healthy ways of thinking and believing. These therapists help their clients feel better in four steps: First, identify the upsetting events that cause bad feelings; second, record your thoughts about the event; third, identify the distortions in your thinking process; and fourth, substitute rational responses. When the client successfully completes these four steps, the client usually feels better about him- or herself. Thinking the right kinds of thoughts is one way to feel good about yourself. Now let's talk about a second way to increase your self-esteem: by taking a look at your life environment and seeing whether it supports you feeling good about yourself. You may find that some nourishing elements need to be replenished. Here are some questions to ask yourself: Do you have people in your life who: 1. Treat you with love and respect? 2. Encourage you to do and be anything you want? 3. Help you find out what you want to do, and how to do it? 4. Encourage you to explore all of your talents and interests? 5. Are thrilled when you succeed? 6. Listen to you when you need to complain? 7. Help you bounce back from failure without making you feel bad? Take a moment to think about each of the items on this list. Note where your environment is providing adequately for you, and where it is lacking. This can give you clues to how to build your own self-esteem. Strategies for Esteem Building 1. Pay attention to how you are feeling from moment to moment. Tune in to what your five senses are experiencing. Take it down to the most basic level of "I feel warm right now," "I feel light-headed," "I feel a tightness in my stomach." 2. Revisit your interests and goals. Make a list of things you'd like to do and learn. Today, take one step toward learning more. 3. Spend less time with critical people and more time with those who appreciate you. 4. Spend some time with yourself at the end of each day. Review what happened and how you were feeling. Write about it in a private journal. 5. If you are feeling bad about yourself, consider finding a therapist to help you get your life on a positive track. Garrett Coan is a professional therapist,coach and psychotherapist. His two Northern New Jersey office locations are accessible to individuals who reside in Bergen County, Essex County, Passaic County, Rockland County, and Manhattan. Garrett also offers online and telephone coaching and counseling services for those who live at a distance. He can be accessed through http://www.creativecounselors.com or at 201-303-4303.
MORE RESOURCES:
Coaching - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
The Secret of Self-Esteem Have you ever thought about what really creates self-esteem? Having a deep sense of inner worth is important to all of us, but many people have some false beliefs about what creates confidence in our own merit as individuals.Some of the common false beliefs regarding what creates self-esteem are:I will feel good about my self when I'm making $______(fill in the amount) a year. Change the Words and Change the World Excerpt From The Relationship Handbook: How to Understand and Improve Every Relationship in Your Life by Kevin B. BurkIf we want to change our lives in any way, all we need to do is to change our words, thoughts and beliefs. Saying NO to Good Opportunities! Tracey started her video production company 2 ½ years ago, and after struggling through the start-up phase, she was finally reaping the fruits of her labor. When we talked, it was clear that she was ready to move onward and upward but didn't know how to go about doing it. Permission To Have FUN ? Have you been working long hours? ? Have you been managing 10 (or more) tasks at once? ? Are you combining several different personal and professional roles?99% of my clients are experts at managing lifestyles similar to those above and this issue is dedicated to all of you.Your reward for managing your lives so well is permission to have some FUN. The Right Coach Who is the Best Coach For Achieving Your Goals?A friend of mine was recently at a Mark Victor Hansen and Robert Allen workshop. They were promoting their Enlightened Millionaire Program. Whats Wrong with Life Coaching? As a Life Coach I quickly identified most individuals wanted to achieve a particular goal or ambition and tried it themselves without success, and unfortunatley were still reluctant to get any help. So, I started 'A Life Coaching' a company which provides individuals with the tools, skills and processes to Life Coach themselves. Lessons from Donald Trump and The Apprentice: A Career Coachs Perspective What can we learn about careers from watching Donald Trump and The Apprentice?1. Recognize that job tests don't always correspond to job realities. The Enchantment of Tribes to Belong To I am remembering and have a desire to share with you, a beautiful story told to me by a young lady. It was the end of the World War II and her dad was returning home. How to Tune In Your Brain & Feel Confident with People in Moments One day when I was in school, many years ago, the school principal wandered into our class room, sat down and started to talk.He talked and talked; and there was nothing we could do to stop him seeing as how he was in charge!For once he actually said something that interested me and I never forgot what he said. Life On The Receiving End Of Coaching What is it like to be on the receiving end of mentoring to improve your performance in pocket billiards and at the same time, participate in life changing coaching?You are the reason for all of the things you are going through. Once you accept that, you are then ready to make the changes that will take you to the next level and far beyond. Just Listen, Please! When did you last do that? When did you last listen to yourself? Is there a small voice inside you calling out "Just listen to me" Just listen. Please". Dont Settle Settling is about not embracing what is best for you, and accepting what you really don't want. When you settle, you accept less than you deserve. Reduce Anxiety About Decison Making What's the alternative to making decisions?Allowing someone else, or circumstances, to make them for you.And that is giving up control of your life. Key Questions for a Coaching Conversation There are 2 key skills that coaches need to be truly effective, the ability to listen (often for what is missing rather than what is said) and the ability to ask the right question at the right time.Now in reality there are no 'right' questions, there are however some very good, and fairly generic questions that when asked which can make a significant difference to the way in which a coaching interaction progresses. Let Go of Your Past People have a difficult time letting go of the past because they are held back by unfinished business. They may regret choices they have made or feel guilty about past actions. Anger: To Control or To Learn Many of us will do anything to avoid another's anger, yet may be quick to anger ourselves. Many of us dread another's anger yet continue to use our own anger as a way to control others. How to Control Your Anger: Retreat and Think Things Over How to Control Your Anger: Retreat and Think Things OverJim and Mary Jones loved each other deeply, but often went into horrific verbal battles over any number of issues. They would argue and yell for hours, often into the night, leaving both of them exhausted, emotionally disconnected, hurt and resentful toward each other. Several Red Flags for Spotting a Phony or Scam The world is full of phonies and scammers these days. They use various mediums such as phone solicitation, spam email, magazine and newspapers ads, TV infomercials, and plain old snail mail. The Power of a Scope We all know the power of a scope if you need to focus in on a target and hit it. We all need to develop and truly understand the power of the human mind's scope. A Live It Real change happens only when it becomes part of our everyday life. When a change becomes a habit, it isn't something new we are trying, but becomes part of what we do as our routine.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
