| |
| |
|
Holidays Information |
|
|
|
What Causes Holiday Stress?
The holidays are supposed to be a time of celebration when friends and families get together to share food, fun, gifts, and love. They are supposed to be a time of giving, caring and connection when we celebrate important and meaningful events. Why, then, are they often so stressful and what can we do to make them more fun and peaceful? Changing the holiday season from stressful to peaceful depends upon one thing: INTENT. Your intent is whatever is most important to you in any particular moment or situation. At any given moment, we are always in one of two intents. Put in simple terms, it is either more important to you in any given moment to: 1) Be loving to yourself and others, or 2) Get love and approval Your intent determines your behavior and your feelings. Let's take an example. Peggy is married with two children. Peggy grew up in a family where she was trained to define her self- worth through other's approval - that is, Peggy believes that if others value what she does, she is okay, but if they don't, then she is unworthy and unlovable. Therefore, Peggy's almost constant intent is to get love and approval. She does this by trying to do everything perfectly - the house has to be perfect, the food has to be perfect, she has to get everyone the perfect gifts. She believes that if everything is perfect, she can have control over how others feel about her and she will get the approval she believes she needs to feel worthy. The problem is that trying to do everything perfectly creates a lot of stress. Whatever means we use - whether it be perfection, compliance, anger or blame - we will always be stressed when the intent is to have control over getting love and approval. Because Peggy does not know how to define her own worth, she feels empty inside until she gets approval. Once she gets the approval, she feels a moment of fullness, which rapidly disappears and then needs to be filled again with more approval. Others around her feel her pull for approval, and may also feel stressed in the face of it. They may like what she does for them, but they may not feel loved by her giving to them to get their approval. Sophia is also married with children. Sophia also grew up to believe that her worth was based on other's approval. However, Sophia has done enough inner emotional and spiritual work to learn to define her own worth. Because she is no longer dependent upon others' approval to define her worth, she is free to express herself in ways that are loving to herself and others. Rather than worrying about what anyone will think of her, Sophia joyfully goes about decorating, cooking and buying presents because it's fun for her to do so. For Sophia, the holidays are an opportunity to express herself and her love for others. Because she is defining and expressing her own worth, she feels full inside. Approval may be the icing on the cake, but it is not the cake itself. Because Sophia receives such joy from expressing herself and giving to others without needing anything in return to feel worthy, others feel loved by her giving. While others may be stressed if they are giving to get approval, Sophia herself remains peaceful and joyful. We all have a choice each moment to decide who we want to be - a person who is trying to have control over getting love and approval, or a person who is giving love to ourselves and others. Who we decide to be determines how we feel. If our intent is to get love and approval, then we may think that others determine our feelings, but it is really our own intent that is responsible for how we end up feeling. Why not start now, before the holidays, noticing your intent? Why not open now to giving yourself - the child within you - the approval he or she needs to feel worthy? If you start to practice today being in the intent to love yourself and others, perhaps by the time the holidays come around you can really have a good time! About The Author Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.
MORE RESOURCES:
Holidays - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
How to Put Some Sizzle in Your Summer Parties: 5 Ways to be a Gracious Host and a Great Guest Now that the hot weather is finally here, we are looking forward to long, lazy days on the beach and hot summer nights that heat up after dark. Here are a few tips from lifestyle guru Kim Kristofferson-Magnusson on maximizing your fun in the sun!1) For family celebrations?KEEP IT SIMPLE!!Whether you're hosting a graduation party for 20 or a family reunion for 200, remember that it's your day to have fun too! To make the most of your time visiting with family and friends, take a vacation from your oven and corral your "grillmaster" of choice out on the patio. How to Make a Gift Basket Gift Baskets are an ideal gift for nearly any occasion. Gift baskets provide a convenient way to find a gift for practically any occasion, but they also provide an avenue for creative and personalized gift giving. Celebrating Fathers On Father's Day, we celebrate the guys in our lives. Not just our dads and the fathers to our children, but all the men who have made a positive impact on a child's life. Make Every Day a Mothers Day! The word mother and mothers day are simple, yet powerful little words that you hear all the time especially so around the time of mothers day when everyone seem to be scrambling for ideas to say thank you, you are surely loved and you are appreciated all over again.But if you would just take time out, you would realize that useful hints were probably being dropped all alone and throughout the year. A New Look at Labor Day A day to reflect on the accomplishments of working people: That's been the proud tradition since the first, unofficial, Labor Day back in 1882.But, one of labor's greatest accomplishments has gone largely unrecognized. Birthday Gift Ideas Birthday celebrations date back as far as biblical times, when celebrations among Pharaohs and other significant individuals have been mentioned. There is even some evidence to suggest that in pagan cultures people feared that evil spirits lurked about an individual on their birthday because they tended to become more malicious around important events in one's life. Mothers Day Gift Ideas Do you remember the days when your mother used to bring those surprise gifts for you? You just loved the sight of those big packages wrapped in beautiful gift papers, didn't you? What did you find when you opened those packets? Wasn't it always just what you wanted? The pretty doll in the window you longed to have for so long, the toy car that could be operated by remote control or a walkie-talkie. Ever wondered how mother always knew what you really needed? How heart-warming it would be to see the same joy and happiness light up your mother's face today. Hassle-Free Holiday Baking: 6 Easy Days to Perfect Christmas Cookies Like many people, I love the idea of making a large assortment of Christmas cookies during the holidays, but I find it difficult to find the time to get it done. As a working mother, cookbook author and webmaster of Christmas-Cookies. Glorious Holiday Decorating (Without Breaking the Bank or Losing Your Sanity) Decorating for the holidays can be both expensive and emotionally draining. But you can decorate your home beautifully--on a budget--by following just a few simple suggestions. Ten Tips for a Real Holiday Season Holidays and the start of a new year inevitably make us think about how we can improve ourselves, and have the life we want in the future. We make resolutions - I must lose weight, I will save more money - and then lose our way. Home For The Holidays: Happy Times, Right This time of the year is supposed to be happy. A time when family is warm and welcoming. Maybe This Christmas Will Be Different.... Have you always dreamed of a Norman Rockwell Christmas - where everyone is singing Christmas carols and there is joy in the house? Alas, your Christmas memories are often filled with Uncle Joe getting drunk and your parents ending up in a fight. By the end of Christmas day family members are mad and no one is talking to one another. Mothers Day Flowers & Gifts! Mother's Day is Sunday, May 8th! Whether she lives next door or across the country, Send Mom a beautiful Fresh Flower Arrangement to celebrate her "Special Day!" Your local florist can design and deliver the perfect gift to Mom this year.~A Vase or Basket of Mom's Favorite flowers will be a welcome surprise. New Ways to Use Old Christmas Cards Forty years ago when I was growing up on our dairy farm in Wisconsin, my mother always saved the Christmas cards she had received in the mail. In those days, people sent many more Christmas cards than they do now. Costumes! Do They Reflect On Your True Personality? Costumes are a great way to escape reality, and wearing your favorite costume (especially on Halloween night) lets you transform your personality into your desired character of choice, and allows you to become someone else for a day!Now do you wear the same Halloween outfit every year, or do you go against the norm, and choose something wild and crazy by adding outrageous makeup, wigs, and accessories! Well, let's have some fun and put your personality to the test, and see what you usually attract to in a costume design.What I would like to do is break down some popular themes, and see what costume would appeal to which personality types:Medieval Renaissance Costumes: A person looking to wear this historic outfit would have charisma, charm, and passion in their blood. Advantages of Online Greeting Cards Over Paper Cards - Part II So, let's review a little what we said in the first part of this. Greeting cards are a very popular item which people buy in high numbers. Planning a Gift Closet Creating a gift closet is a wonderful way to plan ahead for gift giving occasions. It's also handy for those last-minute emergency events that spring up throughout the year, may otherwise catch you by surprise, and send you on a mad dash to the store. No Paws from Santa Claus The Holidays are coming and children have thought long and hard about the gifts they would most want to receive this year. Trucks, trains, Groovey girls and scooters are popular gifts this year. Where Have All The Wise Men Gone? Jesus Is Not Acceptable For Christmas! It's CHRISTmas!Where are the wise men?WOW - The wise men are MISSING! What kind of Christmas is this anyway?Are you caught up in the "season" with this Christmas thing? Do YOU know where the wise men are?For over 200 years we have celebrated Christmas and all of the joys and festivities that go with the "holidays" in this great country of ours. Christmas was declared a federal holiday in 1870 by President Ulysses S. Spice Up Your Life with an Adventure Holiday! Are you bored with the routine of city life? Do you yearn for a getaway from the hustle and bustle and put some excitement into your life? Do you hope to visit the places that have been aired over National Geographic Explorer and experience it for yourself? If your answer is yes to these questions, then adventure travel is just the thing for you!Defining an Adventure HolidayOk, so you've decided that you want an adventure holiday. This leads you to the next question - what type of adventure holiday do you want? There is just so much variety and different perceptions of the word "Adventure" that people have come up with all sorts of activities to define this word.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
