Holidays Information

Holiday Tips For Stepfamilies


Holiday Tips For Stepfamilies: Let Go Of The "Brady Bunch" Fantasy!

When my co-author--Bill Merkel Ph.D.--and I first formed our stepfamily, I had many fantasies about how our family would behave like the "Brady Bunch" over the holidays-- a happy, harmonious, singing-and-dancing unit. Then reality struck, and we couldn't even agree on how to decorate the Christmas tree!

Ultimately, we created a "his" side-with multi-colored, blinking lights and tinsel--and a "hers" side-with hand-painted eggs and popcorn strings. Seven years later, I can tell you that trying to create a "Brady Bunch" holiday sets stepfamilies up for failure. Instead, I suggest you follow these tips:

1. Examine and try to let go of your "Brady Bunch" fantasies.

2. Continue "old" holiday traditions with your biological kids while creating new ones for the stepfamily.

3. If the kids don't buy into your fantasy holiday, try to see

the world from their point of view.

4. Practice the fine art of silence when your stepfamily is stressed by the holidays. You don't have to share all your negative feelings.

5. Don't compete with your children's "other" parents by showering kids with expensive gifts.

6. Stepmoms, reach out to your stepkids' mother. Buy her a gift. Tell her you appreciate her children.

7. Don't fight with ex-spouses about how much time you will

spend with children over the holidays. It only hurts the children

8. Invite your ex-spouses over for a holiday party. Brace for surprises.

9. Join a stepparent support group to share the many feelings about "family" that come up during the holiday season.

Lisa Cohn is co-author of "One Family, Two Family, New Family: Stories And Advice For Stepfamilies," a 2004 Gold National Parenting Publications Award winner. For more information, visit http://www.stepfamilyadvice.com. Email her at cohnmerk@comcast.net


MORE RESOURCES:

FASTSIGNS(R) News: Greet the Holidays With Signs and Graphics
MarketWatch - Nov 21, 2008
"Signs and graphics help bring the holidays to life," said Drue Townsend, senior VP of marketing for FASTSIGNS International, Inc. "They serve as a trigger ...


Expanded train service offered for holidays in NJ
Newsday, NY - 5 hours ago
NEWARK, NJ - New Jersey rail travelers will have more options than usual over the Thanksgiving holiday. NJ Transit is offering expanded early getaway ...


Montauk lighthouse brighter for the holidays
Newsday, NY - 15 hours ago
Almost 3000 small white bulbs will be mounted on the 110-foot tower and adjacent keepers' quarters, outlining the structures for the holidays. ...


How to help during the holidays
Detroit Free Press, United States - 3 hours ago
Give the gift of food or time to those who are in need. Please see the list below for Detroit area organizations that are in need of support. ...


Investment Firm President Encourages Charitable Giving During the ...
MarketWatch - Nov 21, 2008
WASHINGTON, Nov 21, 2008 /PRNewswire via COMTEX/ -- Susan Breakefield Fulton, president and cofounder of FBB Capital Partners, encourages her clients to ...


Hoping to be home for the holidays
Los Angeles Times, CA - 7 hours ago
"Home Preservation Day" in Van Nuys today has nothing to do with new plumbing and a paint job. Insead, financially troubled homeowners are gathering for a ...


Expect Wii Shortage for Holidays, Gamestop Says
PC World - 1 hour ago
"With Wii hardware, I think we've got a good shot at meeting demand during the holidays," Fils-Aime told Forbes. "With Wii Fit, I know we'll fall short. ...


Crain's Chicago Business

Holidays — and then some
Crain's Chicago Business, IL - 2 hours ago
Whether it's a single day or over a period of weeks, holidays are no longer a one-time blockbuster event. They're more like "Groundhog Day," the movie in ...
Your holiday survival guide Knoxville News Sentinel
all 2 news articles


ABC News

Fannie, Freddie to halt foreclosures over holidays
MarketWatch - Nov 20, 2008
By Wallace Witkowski , , ) said late Thursday that they will temporarily suspend foreclosures on occupied homes while the companies work on a streamlined ...
Fannie, Freddie Put Foreclosures, Evictions On Hold For The Holidays Insurance News Net (press release)
Fannie, Freddie to suspend foreclosures during holidays SmartBrief
Feds to suspend some foreclosures through the holidays MyFox Tampa Bay
Toledo Blade - U.S. News & World Report
all 626 news articles


Retail 3.0: Going shopping on Black Friday? Here are a few tips
San Jose Mercury News,  USA - 2 hours ago
Hot toys for the holidays: Barbie dolls for girls and video games for boys rank No. 1 on the list of hot toys for the holidays. ...
Dollar General Kicks off Thanksgiving Week Promotions MarketWatch
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