Inspirational Information

Heavy Weather Guide


Direct Answers - Column for the week of April 26, 2004

My girlfriend and I are basically the same age, just a six month difference. When I went to buy the engagement ring in February, I felt certain she was the right one. She accepted my proposal by saying, "If we go slow?"

We've been doing that. We had the ring resized to fit her finger, and the wedding wasn't to be until Easter 2006. This morning she broke it off. We were happy and taking it slow, but for some reason it felt fast to her. Right from the start, her relatives pressured her to break up. She asked me questions, I answered honestly, and my answers were acceptable.

I want to get married and have my own happy family in the next five years. Preferably in the next two. This afternoon I even cried. What can or should I do? I know suicide's not the answer, but maybe it would make a difference to her and them. No, I don't want to do that, but like I said, I'm feeling sad today.

Michael

Michael, on a merchant ship the second mate is responsible for navigation. Traditionally, each morning the mate would rise, take a fix on the stars, and recompute a fresh course to the destination. This is necessary because the wind and sea push the ship off yesterday's course.

The mate can chart a course and ring up the speed, but the sea determines when the ship will arrive. There is no point fighting against the sea, or against life. Ordinarily when a person thinks of suicide, it is because they are holding to a fixed idea, and they cannot imagine life in any other way. But life is full of possibilities.

If your depression is serious, seek help. But your sadness seems based on rigid expectations. You have a schedule in your head, and you want life to conform to your schedule. In the next two years you want to find a woman who loves you, whom you love, who will marry you, and produce children. That sounds more like ordering a new car than love.

Out of great love for someone who loves you, come a family and happiness. Where is the great love for this woman in your letter? No, what we hear is the two year schedule. What we hear is the difference between this woman, and your plans for a woman.

Life, and people, cannot be bent to your will. Surrender your schedule and allow your life to unfold.

The traditional farewell of a mariner is wishing a friend fair winds and a following sea. But the truth is we learn more about ourselves and our ship in a storm than in calm waters.

Wayne & Tamara

Seesaw

I'm a single woman who is intelligent, kindhearted, and attractive. I recently ended a relationship with a man I'll call Jordan. Jordan slowly moved from wanting to spend every moment with me to "needing some space."

Jordan is bipolar and refuses to seek help, and my attempts to help left him better and me with an hour of sleep. Recently we enjoyed a great afternoon when he invited me to a party. Well, the last time we went to a party, I was basically "left by the punchbowl." When I gently expressed my concern, he screamed, "Get out!" Which I promptly did.

I realize I'm stupid to want anything but to move on, but for curiosity's sake, because it's driving me crazy, what on earth is his problem? We seem to want the same thing, each other, yet he's going back and forth faster than a swing.

Darlene

Darlene, you ask what on earth is his problem. To borrow a phrase from teenagers, "Duh?" He is an unmedicated, bipolar person.

As long as he won't address the problem of his mood swings, there is no place on the swing for you.

Tamara

About The Author

Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.

Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.


MORE RESOURCES:

Sweet Treats From Sweet Muse Make Perfect Gifts That Delight and ...
MarketWatch - 9 hours ago
Packaged with each brownie is an inspirational message or special quote, which makes each treat incredibly special. Messages can be selected from existing ...


Reader's Digest Honors Inspirational Teacher
PR Web (press release), WA - 15 hours ago
Salome Thomas-EL, an award-winning teacher and principal in Philadelphia, PA, was among nineteen "American Icons" honored for their wisdom, ...


Inspirational journalist bows out
The Australian, Australia - 9 hours ago
Macswan, a former war correspondent, foreign correspondent and associate editor of the national news agency Australian Associated Press, died in Sydney ...


Teen's inspirational story hits home
MayoClinic.com - 20 hours ago
I was preceded in the program by a 17-year-old woman who was inspirational as she shared her story with the audience. At age 13, she was an athletic, ...


Have an inspirational story? We're all ears
Orlando Sentinel, FL - Dec 1, 2008
Do you have an interesting story to tell about your journey to a more active lifestyle? It can be a story about your significant weight loss, your training ...


OUR VIEW: Our teachers, our neighbors, we honor you
SouthCoastToday.com, MA - 17 hours ago
Inspirational teachers not only challenge students to achieve, but instill in them life lessons and the love of learning. To recognize the special place ...
"Teacher of Year" nominations accepted South Coast Today
all 3 news articles


Reuters UK

Inspirational Ronaldo wins global award
Daily Nation, Kenya - 5 hours ago
By REUTERSPosted Tuesday, December 2 2008 at 18:36 Manchester United and Portugal winger Cristiano Ronaldo was awarded the Ballon d’Or on Tuesday after ...
Why the Ballon D'or is Stupid and Quite Possibly Evil Buzzle
all 817 news articles


Ducks' Reed tops list at team awards
EastOregonian.info (subscription), OR - 11 hours ago
The Ducks' Most Outstanding and Most Inspirational honors are voted on by the Oregon players. Oregon improved its record to 9-3, concluding its regular ...


Duck Awards Banquet
The Oregonian - OregonLive.com, OR - Dec 1, 2008
Sunday night Nick Reed was named team MVP, Jeremiah Johnson was given the Most Inspirational Player Award, and Terence Scott was given the Most Improved ...


Rice calls Obama "inspirational", promises smooth transition
Hindustan Times, India - Nov 6, 2008
US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice has praised president-elect Barack Obama as "inspirational" and promised to do everything to make a smooth transition ...
Video: Rice Congratulates Obama on Victory AssociatedPress
An emotional Condoleezza Rice praises President-elect Obama The Daily Voice
Rice, Powell express pride in Obama win Philadelphia Inquirer
The Times - Sify
all 321 news articles

Inspirational - Google News

home | site map
© 2006