| |
| |
|
Inspirational Information |
|
|
|
Parental Consent
Direct Answers - Column for the week of August 11, 2003 I am concerned about a relationship, but it is not my own. My nephew aged 21 is planning to get married this November. While I think he is young, I think the bride to be is far too young at only 17. My nephew was home-schooled through half of high school, and she was raised on a ranch and home-schooled as well. In other words, she has no real life experience. They have never dated anyone else. To top it off, he is financially irresponsible and currently holds a low paying job, while she has never worked. Her mother is strongly in support of the marriage and is encouraging it, even though her daughter hasn't finished high school. His entire family is against it. None of us feel either of them know themselves well enough to commit to another, or know enough of the big bad world. How do I discourage them from getting married so soon, or should I? All of us prefer to see him wait until he has a more sturdy and stable position, or at least an idea where he wants to go in life, before they walk into a marriage they are unprepared for. On one level I suspect the reason they are in a hurry is because they were both raised in a strict environment and don't believe in premarital sex. That's just conjecture, but I feel if they marry, they'll end up divorced in under four years. So should I keep my mouth shut, or try to talk them out of getting married? Bea Bea, with all the relationship books and counseling available in the US, you might think the recent leveling off of the astronomical divorce rate is due to some new technique or discovery. It isn't. The evidence seems to show it is linked to one main fact. Couples getting married now are on average about four years older than they were only a few decades ago, and they are about half a dozen years older than this couple. You are right to be concerned. You are writing from experience, and they are acting from inexperience. It is wise to point out to them what married life requires and mention things they haven't thought about. But if they didn't absorb those lessons growing up, chances are they won't listen to you now. If your nephew is marrying to finally have sex, he won't tell you. If she is marrying to get out of her parents' house, she won't tell you. If they are marrying because they don't know what to do next with their lives, they won't say that. After the wedding the question is, Will help really help them, or merely prolong a marriage destined to end? Say what you think is appropriate now, then step aside. Only in hindsight are you likely to be appreciated. Wayne & Tamara On The Road My significant other and soon to be permanent partner and I will be leaving in two weeks to drive cross-country, a trip of almost 3000 miles. My question is how do we spend hour after hour driving with one another? The party not driving can read the newspaper, we can talk or listen to music. I'll pack snacks and we can take turns sleeping. These things I know. They are the common everyday things people do when they travel together. I suppose I was looking for something different; I don't know exactly. Any suggestions? Kris Kris, what are you asking? Life is one long road trip. If the silence is too heavy, if you wonder what to say, perhaps that says it all. This trip may reveal the real nature of your connection. Tamara and I can drive in companionable silence, or we can talk for hours. We don't even turn the radio on. It's a distraction from us. Is that what you are looking for? Wayne About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
MORE RESOURCES:
Inspirational - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
The Power Of A Dream - Success Always Start Off With A Dream Back in the good old days of school, the teachers would often catch us for daydreaming in class and not paying attention. "Stop dreaming! Dreaming will get you nowhere," yelled the teacher. Night of the Living Dead For many people, life has become as dull and despairing as death. We suffer from spiritual inertia. Create Your Way Out of It When life has you feeling less than happy, and you would like to see things different than they are, here are some tips that can help you.I learned that there IS a way out of and beyond any situation that we are less than happy about. Brilliance in Balance "For everything you have missed, you have gained something else; and for everything you gain, you lose something else." - Ralph Waldo EmersonThe sun creeps above the eastern horizon, and shoots its long red beams across a frozen lake. Discover How To Make The Success Generating Imagination Work For You The secret power of positive thinkers is their faith. And this faith is the power of God working through their imagination. Why Self Esteem Matters A number of years ago I worked for one of the UK's top IT companies -- a global player. We were meeting to discuss a major bid, and the room was filled with people who didn't meet often -- the most senior managers from a number of divisions. Your Inner Wisdom -- Crouching Ego, Hidden Guru Wouldn't it be nice if you had a spiritual counselor that traveled everywhere with you, answering all your questions and guiding you down the perfect path? Well, you do! Take a look in the mirror--it's you!Within each of us is our wise higher self, the part of us that connects our human self to our God self. God is everywhere, even in you, but sometimes the connection is forgotten. A Prison Planet I decreed my 'twin' into my life in early 1990. It is a story I tell in other books but I think even Edward House would have a hard time topping my gifts. A Teller Of Tales Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 10, 2002I told my daughter I didn't think my daughter-in-law paid enough attention to her oldest son, 8. He has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, is on Ritalin, and lately has been kicking and hitting little kids. How To Weather Lifes Inevitable Storms In the Northeast, we have a few months to prepare for winter by gathering firewood, securing windows and doors, and getting furnaces cleaned. As with any change, there is always a period of adjustment required. The Most Important Investment You Can Make For Your Old Age - And No, Its Not Money! When I was twenty-two, I was befriended by a woman named Doris who was thirty years older than I was. Although Doris was then a fifty-two year old woman, she did not feel it was inappropriate to befriend me. Parental Consent Direct Answers - Column for the week of August 11, 2003I am concerned about a relationship, but it is not my own. My nephew aged 21 is planning to get married this November. Food for Thought We all love picnics. They represent a fun time as we prepare the food, the entertainment and the guest list. Adversity, What Is It Good For? As I sat down to write this article, I was reflecting back over the last week - a week filled with adversity. We all go through it and it is during those times that we may often wonder what is it all for anyway? What is the point? What is it good for?I decided to look up the word, adversity, from my old American Heritage Dictionary. Anam Cara - Going Beyond The Good In Corrogue I receive a gift of love.I awake to find a gift in my email inbox this morning. Remember Within Remember when you were really young? It was an era of inconsequential innocence. Even at this age, your imagination was larger than large. Choicemaking: Self-Help Secrets Revealed We all assume that making choices is a simple process. We see what's in front of us and we choose the best option. Abused as a Child Child abuse is a much more common event, than is usually expressed in public. I recently attended an event, where people were asked to discuss their darkest secrets. Stay With It! I walked out of his office inspired. All I could immediately recall were those soft-spoken words, "STAY WITH IT". Generosity Is The Seed Of Wealth Generosity, which includes the free, no strings-attached sharing of resources, money, and information among people, is the seed of prosperity. What was the initial seed planted that caused the "Silicon Valley Miracle" No, it was not the invention of the oscilloscope by David Hewlett and William Packard, but, rather, an act of no-strings attached generosity, the founding of Stanford University by Leland Stanford.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
