| |
| |
|
Leadership Information |
|
|
|
Managing Monsters in Meetings - Part 7, Personal Attacks
Personal attacks hurt people, mar communication, and end creativity. If they become part of a meeting's culture, they drive the participants into making safe and perhaps useless contributions. Approach 1: Speak to the group Set the stage for the group to enforce its culture by making a general comment. Look at the middle of the group and say: "Just a moment. Let's pause here to calm down. I can tell we're upset about this. And we want to find a fair solution for everyone." (Take slow deep breaths and relax to model calming down.) After saying this, pause a moment to let the group respond. Often, someone else will support your request. Then continue as if everything were normal. Avoid looking at the attacker when speaking to the group. Making eye contact acknowledges and returns power to the attacker. Approach 2: Explore for the cause Sometimes people throw insults from behind a fence of presumed safety. You can disrupt this illusion by saying: "Chris, you seem upset with that." "Pat, you seem to disagree." "You seem to have reservations about this." I realize these statements may sound like naive responses to an insult. However, such understated responses improve the situation because they sound less threatening, feel easier to deliver, and preserve the other person's self-esteem. Realize the attacker may have viewed the attack less seriously than it sounded. These statements also transfer the focus from the target to the attacker's feelings. And this is what you need to talk about in order to resolve the dispute. After you speak, continue to look at the attacker and wait for the person to talk about what caused the attack. If the attack continues, interrupt with: "Excuse me, we need to respect each other. And I wonder what makes you feel upset over this." "Excuse me, we heard that. Now, what makes you feel that way?" "Excuse me, I'm interested in hearing what your concerns are." Approach 3: Call a break If verbal approaches fail to end the attacks, then call a break or end the meeting. This will give you a chance to meet privately with the attacker, rewrite the agenda, rebuild communication, and (if appropriate) schedule another meeting without the attacker. You could say, "We seem to be at an impasse. I want to take a break so we can all calm down." "This hostility makes it impossible to get any work done. So, I'm adjourning the meetings. We'll work on this later and then reconvene at another time." Note that some people use anger to force others to cooperate with them. If you adjourn the meeting, you will have to meet with the attacker to resolve the conflict. "We need to work on this outside of the meeting. So let's adjourn." Use these techniques to restore a safe environment to your meeting. Meetings are a forum for finding solutions, making decisions, and reaching agreements. When you apply these approaches to disruptions, you will maintain the productive environment necessary to accomplish your goals. This is the seventh of a seven part article on Managing Monsters in Meetings. - - - - - - - - IAF Certified Professional Facilitator and author Steve Kaye works with leaders who want to hold effective meeting. His innovative workshops have informed and inspired people nationwide. His facilitation produces results that people will support. Sign up for his free newsletter at http://www.stevekaye.com. Call 714 -528-1300 or visit his web site for over 100 pages of valuable ideas.
MORE RESOURCES:
Leadership - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Transformational Leadership "What is leadership?" When this question is asked most of the people answer "leadership is the capacity or an ability of a person to lead". Earlier theories of leadership viz. Supervisor Training: Helpful Tips to Lead Your Pack A new supervisor is hired to anchor a gardening project that has fallen apart. The last supervisor walked out on the job because he was overwhelmed with the high expectations of the project. 5 Power Keys For Leadership Success! Did you know that you can successfully handle most leadership challenges with just 5 simple strategies? By focusing your attention on these critical areas you can empower your the opportunities hiding within your vision, new venture or project plans.The biggest problem facing people like you is knowing when, what and how to operate your leadership power keys. Leadership Lessons from Pope John Paul II "Heroes are rebels with a cause. Rebels because they challenge the traditional ways of thinking and refuse to follow the herd. On Being A Born Leader "Leaders are born, not made." Right? Let me ask you a question: do you believe that?I'll give you mine: I *don't* believe it. Dont Be a Complainer Complaining. There's room for legitimate complaining, but if you let this deadly disease of attitude - complaining - loose, it will conquer you. The Challenge to Lead The topic of leadership has been and continues to be one of the most vital topics in human history. From ancient civilizations to modern day multi-national corporations, men and women of passion, fervor and zeal have sought to discover the secrets of moving others beyond the gray of their mundane reality to the rich array of colors that embody the palate of the extraordinary life. E=MC - Is It In Me? How many times have you seen the E = MC2 formula and wondered what it might mean to you?Old Einstein had a lot more up his sleeve than fancy algebraic equations. This particular "thought experiment" still inspires discoveries of various sorts throughout the world today. Birth Order - Understand How It Affects Your Personality "Know thyself" is a powerful principle that leaders, managers and effective people intuitively know.When you understand your own strengths and preferences you are in a position to maximise those strengths and compensate for any weaknesses either by working differently or surrounding yourself with people with different strengths. 3 Aspects of Developing Leadership Skills Everyone knows that great leaders are made, not born. However good that statement sounds, we still want to know how we "make" or turn people effective leaders. Act on Some of the Facts Making any decision without having all of the information and facts beforehand can be very tough. I spoke with a young man recently and he told me that some of his professors had changed the rules on him in the administration of his classes. Leadership Challenges: The Walls In Our Lives We have all experienced walls or challenges in our work lives. How you handle the walls may be a defining point in your leadership and your career. Trust - The Most Vital Component in Leadership "Trust is the emotional glue that binds followers and leaders together."- Warren Bennis and Bert Nanus"If you don't believe in the messenger, you won't believe the message. Unleash It! On airplanes, in restaurants, in the newspaper and on television, I often hear people saying their businesses are not growing to their satisfaction or that they are not reaching their objectives. The explanations that follow consist of reasons like: ? It's the economy? Our customers don't get it? I don't have the right people on the team I could go on, and so could you. In Leadership, Dreams Are The Stuff That Great Results Are Made Of Leadership is motivational or it's stumbling in the dark. The best leaders don't order people to do a job, the best leaders motivate people to want to do the job. Top 25 Leadership Quotations Ponder what it takes to be a true leader with these practical quotes that will lead you to a more precise understanding of the secrets to successful leadership.. Abraham Lincoln Is Still Alive Abraham Lincoln Is Still Alive President Jimmy Carter tells in his memoirs that a trip to Gettysburg and a discussion about Abraham Lincoln helped achieve a breakthrough in the Camp David negotiations. The Israelis and the Egyptians had reached a deadlock. Pure Discipline General George S. Patton was born on November 11, 1885 on his fathers ranch and vineyard in Los Angeles County over what is today the city of Pasadena and much of the UCLA campus. Weakness, Struggle, Fear, Knowledge, Growth, Courage, Leader Theodore Roosevelt was one of the most remarkable men in the history of the world. As a boy he wanted the boldness of his father. Leadership and Followership in a Team Setting Many solopreneurs work in a team environment either with their client's staff, or with subcontractors. Having spent over 20 years in a teaming environment before becoming a solopreneur 13 years ago, I know that during the course of any highly functioning team effort, the leadership and followership roles flow back and forth between the members.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
