Music Information

Jealous Again - Jealousy Among Musicians


Jealousy - do you feel it? Do you sense it in others? Does it hinder your relationships with other musicians? Does it sap your confidence? Does it block your creativity? Here are some questions to help you get clearer about the jealousy in your life.

1. What is my jealousy trying to teach me? Generally when I have a strong emotion towards a specific person it's either because that person represents something about me that I can't tolerate yet or because that person embodies something that I wish I could do or have. I remember being in a high school arts program and being incredibly envious of a fellow singer. What I was so painfully aware of (though I couldn't have articulated it at that time) was that this person was able to fully express herself and her talents, and I couldn't. I was a better singer at home in my bedroom than I was in front of other people, and THAT'S what I couldn't stand about the situation. By doing what I couldn't do, she shone a spotlight on my biggest challenge. It made it virtually impossible to have a good relationship with her.

2. How can I identify with this person as a fellow musician, instead of comparing our work? What opportunities are there for collaboration, mutual support and the exchange of ideas? Can I open myself to receiving gifts from this person - feedback, support and love? What can I, in turn, give to this person? Even the most famous, the most successful musician is a human being just like you. Find the connection. What can I give to a musician who's newer than I am?

3. How can I develop confidence in my unique message and express this authentically? I will never sound like this other musician, or anyone else for that matter. Influences may be heard, comparisons will inevitably be made, but my words will never come out exactly like theirs, because my "story", my life, my experiences, my collection of qualities, strengths and challenges are completely unique to me. When I honour my uniqueness my confidence grows, and it becomes pointless to compare myself to others - there's no comparison. This quote by Martha Graham further explains what I mean.

There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening, that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. - Martha Graham, quoted by Agnes DeMille, Martha: The Life and Work of Martha Graham

4. How can I turn my attention away from this other person and back to what I can do to further my own success and creative fulfillment? If I'm jealous of someone winning a songwriting contest, I can ask myself: how many songwriting contests have I entered? If I'm jealous of the size of their fan base, I can ask myself: how am I attracting new fans and how I am deepening my relationship with the ones I have now? If I'm jealous of the number of songs they've written, I can ask myself: what am I choosing to do with my time instead of writing songs?

5. Now that I've learned from it, how can I let go of my jealousy? Often in life we hang on to emotions long after they've served their usefulness. They become comfortable, familiar and safer than doing the work to get to the other side of them. And yet they can also weigh us down and block our creativity. Try the analogy FEEL. First, Feel your feeling - don't suppress it, actually let yourself feel it. Next, Express the feeling - write about it, sing about, talk about it with someone you trust, play it on an instrument or express it in art. Next, Explore the feeling - what is it trying to teach you, etc. as discussed above. And finally Let it Go. This can be as simple as saying a short prayer or affirmation ("I have let go of my jealousy", or "I have valuable and unique gifts to offer"), or writing the feeling on a piece of paper and tearing it up.

Jealousy has a lot to teach us. So when it shows up in your life, pay attention. If you notice jealousy in others, put yourself in their shoes and help them to identify with you. Reveal your humanity. Let them know that they've got something to offer you.

This article was originally published on the Muses Muse Songwriter's Resource website (December 2004) http://www.musesmuse.com.

(c) Copyright 2005, Genuine Coaching Services.

Linda Dessau, the Self-Care Coach, helps artists enhance their creativity by addressing their unique self-care issues. To receive her free monthly newsletter, "Everyday Artist", subscribe at http://www.genuinecoaching.com/artist-newsletter.html


MORE RESOURCES:

Red Herring

The Case for Wii Music
Red Herring, CA - 38 minutes ago
by Michael Lee After spending some time with Nintendo’s upcoming music “non-game” Wii Music at last week’s Nintendo Media Summit in San Francisco, ...


BBC News

Pop stars demand control over music
The Press Association - 8 hours ago
Robbie Williams, Radiohead and Kate Nash are among Britain's top pop and rock acts who are demanding more control over their music. Dozens of the music ...
UK Artists Form Coalition To Protect Rights Billboard
Radiohead, Billy Bragg, Others Join to Demand Fair Treatment Wired News
The Music Industry Reacts To Online Music All About Symbian
Exclaim! - Ars Technica
all 367 news articles


Noteflight Launches the First Online Music Notation Editor
MarketWatch - 10 hours ago
The score can be played directly from the browser, shared with individuals, published online or printed as sheet music for use by live musicians. ...


Universal Music Group (UMG) Partners With Dada Entertainment
MarketWatch - 7 hours ago
Starting today, tracks from Universal Music Group's catalogue will be available for Dada.net users to download as DRM-free full-track MP3s and ringtones. ...
Sony’s expands 66-cent-per-song music attack at Apple TG Daily
Universal Music Group (UMG) Joins Flycell to Celebrate Hispanic ... MarketWatch
all 18 news articles


Music-Industry and Digital Music Services to Announce Major ...
MarketWatch - 9 hours ago
Board members include representatives from: EMI Music, Sony Music, Warner Music Group, Universal Music Group, The American Society of Composers, ...


MTV Tr3s Turns Up the Volume on Regional Mexican Music
MarketWatch - 7 hours ago
MTV Tr3s is turning up the volume on a much-loved genre of Latino music, Regional Mexican, with the development of three exclusive programs, including the ...


Review: Zune music player catching up to iPod
CNN - 4 hours ago
New menu items for Games and Marketplace have been added alongside existing selections for Music, Videos, Pictures, Social, Radio, Podcasts, and Settings. ...
Zune Marketplace (October 2008) Wi-Fi Hi-Fi PC Magazine
Zune Marketplace (October 2008) PC Magazine
all 3 news articles


Kick Butt Coffee Stays up for Late Night Music
MarketWatch - 2 hours ago
Now Kick Butt Coffee turns into a great new live music venue for acts such as jazz with the Jeff Lofton Quartet (October 11, http://jefflofton.com) and ...


Reuters

NKorean defector gives piano recital
The Associated Press - 1 hour ago
Kim, the son of a prominent North Korean and former first pianist of the State Symphony Orchestra, said the North severely restricts the music people can ...
Dissident North Korean plays "Amazing Grace" in US Reuters
all 91 news articles


EMI Published Composer Bryan Le Bon Discovers Healing Through Music
MarketWatch - 9 hours ago
Bryan Le Bon has discovered how music can alter the brain's thought processes to promote healing. Le Bon's music uses the "law of vibration" through musical ...

Music - Google News

home | site map
© 2006