Negotiation Information

Neogtiation: How to be Right Without Making Other People Wrong


What exactly are we trying to accomplish by proving to others that we're right? We might win the argument but ultimately lose the relationship. Perhaps a better, deeper-rooted question is this: Why do we lose sight of success, of our big objective, when we feel challenged or intimidated?

When I prepare to negotiate, provide a service or turn my employees' talent into performance, I know deep down that if I make people feel valuable they will see my input as having value. But in that moment when they are just hands-down, across-the-board dead wrong, I sometimes can't stop myself from letting them know how incredibly wrong they are. When that happens, my ability to influence them vaporizes on the spot, and I'm left dealing with the response I created by making them wrong.

I think this is the most consistently counterproductive thing we do in business and, I suspect, in our personal lives too. It may be the foundation of communication breakdown. Maybe this behavior is so prevalent because it's part of human nature. Could we be natural born jerks? (Jerkdom - nature or nurture?) If so, how do we overcome the urge to prove our point at the expense of our business or relationship?

Wynn Solutions studied thousands of top communicators and saw a common behavior among them: the practice of not making people wrong. We decided to find out how they did it.

We discovered that these top communicators lowered their expectations of other people's behavior before meeting with them face to face. It seemed to reduce the tendency to overreact in the heat of the moment. Also, they walked in the door with an agenda of not making the other person wrong and of looking for areas where the other person's knowledge was strong. So when that moment came - when other people made their limited knowledge obvious - top communicators were not so ready to pounce.

This approach may sound a bit condescending to some, but it sure beats dealing with communication issues you create for yourself by having to prove you're the smartest person in the room. It allows you to be right without making others feel wrong.

© Garrison Wynn,CSP 2005

Garrison Wynn is a nationally known speaker, trainer, and consultant. He is the president and founder of Wynn Solutions, specializing in building profitable business relationships.

888-833-2902
http://www.wynnsolutions.com


MORE RESOURCES:

BorderFire Report

Ready for the Great Negotiation? You better be
BorderFire Report, TX - Dec 1, 2008
He has a great negotiation ahead of him to unite the country. As a negotiation coach working with hundreds of million of dollars in negotiations every day ...


HispanicBusiness.com

Boeing Averts Another Strike
Aviation International News, NJ - 1 hour ago
“These were the toughest negotiations I’ve been involved with,” said professional negotiation team chair and three-time negotiator Dave Patzwald. ...
SPEEA Engineers, Technical Workers Ratify Boeing Contracts Aero-News Network
all 339 news articles


Metalworks negotiation talks may resume
Ludington Daily News, MI - 5 hours ago
... Vice President of Operations Scott Lakari Monday and they agreed to set another meeting between the negotiation committees for the union and company. ...


This Season, Some Tempers Simmer
Wall Street Journal - 17 hours ago
For many, it means deep cuts into holiday budgets for things like gifts, travel and special meals out -- but also extra helpings of guilt, negotiation and ...


Moneycontrol.com

With IC-814 in memory, India didn’t talk to terrorists
Moneycontrol.com, India - Dec 1, 2008
“In future incidents, the terrorists know they can succeed by negotiation.” The 1999 negotiation response may have also inspired subsequent terrorism ...


Seatradeasia-online

Steelmakers see gains from failed BHP bid
China Daily, China - 21 hours ago
"The reason Rio Tinto demanded a price hike of 96.5 percent for iron ore supplies in 2008 negotiation was that it wanted to set hurdles for BHP's takeover ...
BHP, Rio May Have to Cut Coking Coal Prices 33%, Analysts Say Bloomberg
all 30 news articles


Negotiating skills for IT consultants
TechRepublic, KY - Dec 1, 2008
Have you ever won over a potential client with a perfect presentation but lost them at the negotiation table? Rick Freedman describes what can go wrong and ...


New York Times

Assemblyman slams Yankee Stadium deal
Lower Hudson Journal news, NY - Nov 30, 2008
"This negotiation was taking place at a time when the Yankees were dramatically raising ticket prices, while the state and the city were giving essentially ...
Yankee Suite for Mayor's Office? 1010 Wins
City demanded free suite, food from Yankees, e-mails reveal New York Daily News
all 14 news articles


Montealegre refutes political negotiation in Nicaragua
Tico Times, Costa Rica - 19 hours ago
By Tim Rogers Managua mayoral hopeful Eduardo Montealegre stood his ground yesterday, saying his opposition contingent – Vamos Con Eduardo, the “We're Going ...


Board, union agree on contract
Monadnock Ledger Transcript, NH - 4 hours ago
By JOSH BOND PETERBOROUGH -- The ConVal Education Association has agreed to suspend its work to contract job action after a seven-hour negotiation meeting ...

Negotiation - Google News

home | site map
© 2006