| |
| |
|
Parenting Information |
|
|
|
How Well Do You Know Your Child?
Do you think you really know your child? I don't mean know what he/she likes and doesn't like, but to know him/her well enough to understand his/her challenges, to appreciate his/her strengths and weaknesses and to help him/her develop his talents. Knowing your children can help increase their chance for success in the future and improve your relationship. As parents, we are constantly looking for ways to improve out relationship with our children, discipline our children and provide proper guidance. How many of us take the time to get to really know our child? Some of us believe that our children are extensions of us and don't have their own thoughts, dreams and goals. When was the last time you sat down with your child to find out what they are thinking? The answers may surprise you. Children, especially during puberty, start to discover and develop their identity. They go through an emotional and psychological identity crisis and question and challenge their parents. At this point, children start to crave support and direction from their parents, but are not always compelled to ask for it. But how can you help your child, if you do not know their needs? Simple, ask them! You are not a mind reader and your child probably will not voluntarily share his/her personal information with you. When you start to offer unsolicited advice, they feel that you are being intrusive or nosy and get defensive. There are two simple steps to getting to know your child. The first step is to listen more and speak less. Let your child direct the conversation and when they ask for your advice, offer it without being judgmental or critical. Lecturing and berating your child for poor judgment or unhealthy decisions will not help you to understand him/her more because you will not be getting to the core reason for the behavior. If you do not have the proper information, how can you give your child the support that he/she needs? By listening, you will be able to help your child understand how their choices and decisions affect their lives and direct them to making healthier and more responsible decisions. By being an active listener, you learn to acknowledge what your child is feeling and give your child the information and advice that he/she needs. The second step is to ask the questions that will create meaningful conversation. The typical responses to "How was your day?" are "Good" or "Fine." Ask open ended questions instead of closed ended questions that result in one word responses. Ask specific rather than general questions that will stimulate your child to think. Show your child that you have a genuine interest in what is going on in his/her life. Don't force this process, let it come naturally and soon your child will respond. Ask casually and soon your child will start to volunteer the information. Find out who influences your child. Even ask tough questions such as, "How do you feel about our family?" The point is not to judge your child's responses, but to know what he/she is thinking or how he/she is feeling. Ask your child if he/she has any resolutions for this year. What was his/her biggest challenge or setback last year? Ask the questions without interrogating. Don't bombard them with questions or you may face resistance. Resolve today to spend a few minutes each day getting to know your child better. This is one of the most valuable gifts you can give to your child. Recommended Further Reading: Marie Magdala Roker is an Academic and Personal Development Coach and Certified Breakthrough Parenting Instructor who works with parents to help them unlock and nurture the personal and academic potential in their children and motivate their children to success. You can find her on the web at http://www.successfulchild.com.
MORE RESOURCES:
Parenting - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream, But Not For Ice Cream! We all scream for ice cream. Or, we don't, at least not anymore. Teaching Children Good Manners Last week in my newsletter, I mentioned that my children knew how to behave in nice restaurants because they had been exposed to the atmosphere at an early age. My idea of well behaved might be different from yours, however, I think there are certain basics that are important and universal. Parenting Your Teenager: Ask Questions Many parents seem to be more than a little confused about what they have a right to know about their teens.The question I often get goes something like this:"We want to know where our 16-year-old son is going to be, and who he is with. Treatment Options for ADHD Ritalin has been shown through the years to be very effective in the treatment of Attention Deficit Disorder symptoms. Although it has potential side-effects which many families would like to avoid, we have seen it help a lot of people. Over-Indulgence And Over-Attentiveness - Two Dangers Parents Must Avoid! We're all familiar with the over-indulgent parent. But there's another parenting practice that can be equally harmful: over-attentiveness. Parenting Your Teenager: Teens and Violence I have a bit of a different response than most therapists to the often asked question:"How can all this teen violence be happening?"My questions are:"How could this not be happening"and"Why doesn't it happen even more often?"Here's what I mean by these questions - although there are many more factors involved, just consider these three:1) kids listen to increasingly violent music, see increasingly violent movies and TV shows, and play increasingly violent video games. All of these without any focus on the real life, long term consequences of violence. Where Is Your Homework, Lisa? Is Homework Really That Important?Dear Friends,I no longer teach in public schools, but for what seems like 100 years, I did. During my long career, I did the best I knew how to do at the time, based on where I was in life, and what I had learned about teaching. Gifted Children - Getting the Balance Right One of the challenges for parents with a gifted child is to encourage them to develop a range of interest outside the academic sphere that not only rounds them out but stops them from being isolated from their peers Gifted children are a diverse group of kids who are talented in specific areas such as mathematics, language, sport or music. Some gifted kids are mutli-talented excelling in a variety of areas. Fraternal Twin Parenting Concerns Identity and Your Fraternal TwinFor the most part, throughout this article I refer to a fraternal twin in the singular rather than the plural "twins." This is to emphasize the individuality of each twin. Anti Scooter Media Frenzy An estimated five million scooters will be sold this year and according to the U.S. Now, Theyre Bullying My Daughter In Our Home: Welcome To Cyber-Bullying Last night Tom's daughter, Sue, came out of her room to see her dad and said, "I got another one of those instant messages. It says, 'tomorrow you had better not show up at school or else'. My Children I have been a single mom for almost 20 years. My kids were 3, 7, 12 and 14 when my ex left. Parents Role in Helping with Car Wash Fundraisers As a parent you will be asked to assist with your children's car wash fundraiser activities. It is important that you take an active role in these endeavors. So, My Child Has Been Recommended for Testing - What Do I Do Now? You've just received a call from your child's teacher. As your blood pounds in your ears, you hear her explain how she has noticed your child having difficulty with some academic subject in school. Marriages May End But Families Are Forever It was at that time when our marriage was falling apart and we completely hated each other when we needed to work constructively as parents, as our child's world was crumbling too.I have been divorced for over five years now and have a beautiful eleven year old daughter. Renee's Mommy is Here I still remember the scene vividly. I was getting out of my car at the baby-sitter's house and a little boy comes running out the door. Screaming Kids Driving You Nuts? Four Rules to Help You Keep Your Sanity! Often I will hear parents say, "I just ignore Jr. when he has a fit or screams. Why Me? Why Me?"We should certainly count our blessings, but we should also make our blessings count." --Neil MaxwellYesterday morning, my family and I got up at 5:30am in Mexico to begin our journey home from a holiday retreat. Teaching Reading : Part Two We know that you want your little guy or gal to have the best start. The greatest thing you can do for your child is to provide a home filled with love and laughter. Parents Demand Dumbed-down Tests:An Unintended Bad Consequence of the No Child Left Behind Act The No Child Left Behind Act of 2001 is making the problem of cheating, low academic standards, and public schools lying to parents, even worse. Under this Act, the Department of Education now requires students to pass standardized tests.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
.jpg)